Gifts for Men

Hubby's birthday is approaching. None of us have any idea--including him--on what to give him. He's not a handy man, so the hardware store is out. He's already got one of every thing that the sporting store carries. Office supplies don't do it for him. He's not a clothes horse.

What does he like? A clean house. A clean car. A warm meal. Ironed clothes. And a little attention. He also likes for my car to be clean. And the toilet lids to be down. But somehow, doing all those things and saying, "Happy Birthday, honey! I washed and vacuumed our cars and made our bed and put all the toilet lids down!" just doesn't seem right.

So ... what do you get for the man who wants nothing?

Well, I googled "ridiculous gifts for men" and boy golly, I got some funny ideas! Here are a few of my favorites:

Steak Saws, LOL! Again, funny, but unnecessary.

Steak Saws, LOL! Again, funny, but unnecessary.

Ah, yes, the basketball mug complete with hoop for marshmallow dunking! Funny and clever, but I doubt he'd actually use it more than a few times. Still, it was invented by a little boy who is 8 yo and has dyslexia, so I'm tempted to get it anyway. W…

Ah, yes, the basketball mug complete with hoop for marshmallow dunking! Funny and clever, but I doubt he'd actually use it more than a few times. Still, it was invented by a little boy who is 8 yo and has dyslexia, so I'm tempted to get it anyway. What do you think?

A remote controlled floating drink and snack holder! I actually like this idea, but since he has a November birthday, he wouldn't be able to use it until summer.  :(  Still, you know how guys are with remote controls. So I'm seriously cons…

A remote controlled floating drink and snack holder! I actually like this idea, but since he has a November birthday, he wouldn't be able to use it until summer.  :(  Still, you know how guys are with remote controls. So I'm seriously considering it. Your thoughts?

 

 

 

Baseball bat rocking chair! Now this is cute, but it looks mighty uncomfortable. Wouldn't do any good if he couldn't actually relax in it!

Baseball bat rocking chair! Now this is cute, but it looks mighty uncomfortable. Wouldn't do any good if he couldn't actually relax in it!

 

 

 

 

 

So ... what do you get for the man who wants nothing? Any ideas?

You Know You're Married to a Jock When ...

You know you're married to a jock when ...

  • he refers to intermission as "halftime."

  • you arrive at the hospital to deliver your first born and he brings along his catcher's mitt.

  • he paints regulation lines on the driveway around your basketball goal.

  • he buys a basketball goal from Academy, saws six feet of the pole off, drills a hole in the decking beside your pool, drops the basketball goal into it and concretes it in. None of that plastic poolside basketball for him. No siree. (And this monstrosity looks so nice next to my saga palm.)

  • he thinks reading is the epitome of being bored.

  • he's only read 15 books since 1986 (ten of those because he feels like he has to since his wife wrote them).

  • he thinks soap operas reflect the lowest form of our society.

  • he thinks romance novels are just one teeny-tiny step above soap operas.

Well, I'm sure you've figured out … I'm married to a jock. 

Now don't get me wrong. Jocks have their perks. They are hard workers, driven, passionate, great leaders, great providers, fiercely protective of their woman and offspring, and they come packaged very, very nicely. My sweetie-pie and I will be celebrating 32 years of marital bliss this December.

What about you? Are you married to a jock? Got any bullet points you could add?

 

Office Supply Enthusiast

I'm Deeanne Gist and I love office supplies.

I am absolutely fascinated with office supplies. Every aisle is a treat and the office furniture section is way too tempting for my own good. One my readers emailed me yesterday with a picture of her desk (which was a bit messy, but nothing like mine) and told me her secret to a clean desk was in using a small desk. Hmmm. Do I smell a trip to the office supply store??

I don't know if I could say for sure what my favorite aisle is. That's like asking what my favorite ice cream flavor is. They're all good! But I will confess to being a highlighter fanatic. I was perusing through Pinterest and found these! *Ohmygosh* how adorable!

So, what about you? Are you an office supply nut? What's your favorite aisle? Favorite item?

Dee Crashed Bachelorette Party

When the movie Mamma Mia had first come to the theaters, I went to it with my daughter. She was in college at the time. When Meryl Streep's character crashed her daughter's bachelorette party, I leaned over and asked my daughter if she'd like me to do that to her one day.

At first she looked horrified, then her eyes took on an amused challenge and she gave me a resounding, "Yes."

Years later, I remembered that (long after she'd forgotten the conversation) … and drove 240 miles to do totally surprise her. Just watch ...

If you have a question for me, leave it in the comments section here, on my Facebook page, on Pinterest, on my YouTube Channel, or on Goodreads and I'll pick one for next week's edition of *All the Juicy DeeTales!*

If Women Controlled the World...

Loved this email I received and had to share. It's what the sender thought the world would look like if women made all of the decisions. My grandmother always used to say, "What's all this east and west stuff? Can't they just say I-10 Right or I-10 Left?" LOL. ;-)

What would you do if you controlled the world?

Every Puppy Should Have A Boy

A dozen roses were brought to my door yesterday. They were from my husband. Imagine my surprise when I opened the card and discovered they were for the dog. It was Cowboy's 12th birthday and Greg sent one rose for every year of the dog's life. This is what the card said:

And thus, the negotiations began. I really wanted those roses. They were white, tinged with pink, and filled the room with a heavenly scent. Cowboy wanted breakfast in bed … my bed. That wasn't happening.

So I took him to the dog park. Played frisbee (which he loves because when I throw it one never knows which direction it will go). Then we went to the pet store. We walked up and down the aisles while I let him choose whichever treat he wanted. He chose SmartBones made with real peanut butter. After all, he's getting up in age and he said he wanted to be healthy and all.

Thing is, he wanted twelve of them--one for each rose. I told him that wasn't healthy. He insisted. Finally, we decided he could have twelve, but not in one sitting. The roses would last at least a week. Perhaps his peanut butter bones should, too.

Gotta love that man of mine, though. So adorable. *sigh* What's the most outrageous thing ever done for your pet?

 

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